For many people, if the word confidence is given any thought, it is looked upon as a personality trait that you either have or do not have … something you are born with or without. In reality, confidence is a mental state you can develop, if you are prepared to pay the price.
It is also important for you to understand that the price is small, relative to the return. Having confidence will free you to go where your heart leads you, to do what you must do. Confidence gives you strength with style. It generates a non-physical aura that captures the conscious attention of everyone in your presence. It is that something which others admire. Confidence sets up a vibration that causes others to trust in your ability, it instills in them a feeling of safety when following your lead. When you are confident, you know … and you know that you know.
You possess an awareness of a powerful truth: you are one with the infinite. You know that when you are in tune with the unseen power that is in every molecule of your being, you will always solve whatever problem you may be facing, because this power is far greater than any condition or circumstance with which you could be confronted. I could go on and on relating one wonderful truth after another when it comes to confidence. However, if you doubt yourself, if you doubt your ability, if you feel you are not able to do the job or solve your problems, what I have said will not matter.
I would not be answering your most pressing questions: How do I develop confidence and tune into this power? Permit me to suggest that you already have confidence. You might not have it when you want it or possibly in the area you need it, but you’ve got it. Confidence is knowing; it is an inner certainty and absolutely nothing can change it. It wouldn’t matter what happened, what anyone said or did, when you have confidence, what you know (that inner voice) cannot be changed, regardless of the challenge. After the Wright Brothers made the first manned flight, do you think that another person saying, “You can’t fly” would change what they knew? Their reply would have been, “I know I can. I just did.” They were confident because they knew.
Ultimately, confidence is knowledge. If you were going to parachute out of a plane, you would most certainly want to have a lot of confidence in the parachute. The more you knew about the parachute (ie. its construction, material, how it was packed, etc.), the more your confidence would either increase or decrease. Your confidence in the parachute is largely determined by your knowledge of the parachute. The dictionary defines confidence as “a feeling or consciousness of one’s powers, or of reliance on one’s circumstances.” Contrary to popular belief, your confidence has very little, if anything, to do with your intellect. It has, however, everything to do with your faith. This explains why an individual who may be intellectually inferior, steps out and confidently pursue their dreams, while their counterpart with the advanced academic credentials fearfully holds on to a position they detest, while their dream dies in their mind. The more knowledge and understanding you have about yourself, the greater will be your confidence. Pure, raw self-confidence is what permits you to move ahead in life. Self-confidence gives you license to have a positive attitude about your ability to become competent in an area you may presently know little about. I once heard it said that the “room for self improvement” was the largest room in the world. Regardless of where you are on your personal confidence gauge, these three points will be of value to you.
One: Check your self-image. This is a critical part of your mental machinery when it comes to keeping your confidence humming. When you think of anything, you think in pictures. What kind of a picture comes to your mind when you think of yourself? Confidence is an inside job. To have or not have confidence has nothing to do with what is happening outside of you. Confidence is determined by what is going on inside of you. You are a creative distributor of a life-giving force. Think about that … dwell on it. Remember, what you put out always comes back. When you build the picture of your dream, see yourself as a service-oriented, happy, healthy, prosperous individual.
Understand it was your creative ability that enabled you to build the picture. Your dream is spirit in an organized form … an organized non-physical form. You built the picture, it is in your marvelous mind-body. Mind and body cannot be separated, therefore it must move into physical form with and through you. As long as you hold the image of your dream, the image will affect your movements. It will also dictate what is attracted into your life. Realize that you can connect with the Ever Present … All Knowing … All Powerful lifegiving force I refer to as Spirit and you can connect at will. Train yourself to see your SELF as having such awesome powers. See the willingness of Spirit working with you, to and through you. The more you permit these ideas to move into the feeling side of your personality, the more confidence you will have. Your level of confidence is going to be in direct ratio to your awareness of your oneness with Spirit … the Ever Present … All Knowing … All Powerful life-giving force.
The second step is to check your strengths and weaknesses. You might take a pad and pen and begin making a couple of lists. If you are honest with yourself, you will find the weaknesses far outweigh the strengths. Now, what I’m going to suggest may come as a surprise to you. I’m going to suggest that you forget about developing your weaknesses. Instead, I’m going to suggest that you manage them and put your energy into developing your strengths. In other words, direct your efforts and attention to getting better at what you already do well. Keep getting better at it until you have mastered it.
It makes sense to do what you enjoy and what you do well. The more you do it, the better you will get at it, the more you will enjoy it. You will naturally exude confidence. You will be able to say with conviction: I’m good, I know I’m good and I know why I’m good. That’s confidence. If you didn’t know why you were good, it would be conceit as opposed to confidence.
The third step is to train your mind to see in all people, what they do not see in themselves. Begin to treat every person you come in contact with as the most important person in the world. Look at them with a new awareness. See every person as an expression of SPIRIT, which is always perfect. Refuse to permit another person to influence how you see and treat them. Their speech, actions and results may clearly indicate they do not like themselves. Love them anyway. Look for what they do well and let them know you noticed it. Give everyone a sincere merited compliment. Their good work is Spirit shining through them. Look for it.
Remember, the age-old advice, “Seek and you will find.” The really beautiful part of this third step is this…the good you find in others is a reflection of the good that is in yourself. You might be wondering how this is going to increase your confidence? Know that real confidence turns dreams into reality, physical reality. That is the kind of confidence you need to strive for.
2004, ©LifeSuccess Productions, www.bobproctor.com